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WARNING! For mature audiences only

Though the 4th of July is observed as “Independence Day”, it is also a longstanding tradition for us to celebrate our freedom to be TOGETHER in a way that is our own. It is our honor and privilege to create the dynamics in our respective relationships, including the bedroom! As we always say, “We teach people how to treat us.” That includes sexually! So, if you’re looking for climactic, fun, and explosive new sex positions to try this Fourth of July, we got you. Use these experiences to teach your partner what feels good AND what doesn’t. Anytime you and your partner try something new together in the bedroom, it is very important not to fake an orgasm or to pretend something feels good when it doesn’t! It’s OKAY if something doesn’t work for you; learning what you like and don’t like and communicating these desires contributes to the freedom of sexual expression. 

Street Sparklers

This one is all about foreplay and building intimacy.

How To Do It: Lay side by side facing one another. Begin at your partner’s face with gentle, light tickle touches and add in some light kisses as is pleasurable. As you go down their body and reach the feet, slowly move back up their body with a deeper massage. As you draw closer to the pelvic area, move your hands closer and closer, as teasing and playfully as possible, then move away to continue intermittent tickles and massages. Do this 2 or 3 times, up and down the body, alternating rhythmically between light tickle touches and deeper massaging. Then, trade! (unless it feels so good for your partner that you decide to keep going until climax, THEN trade 😉 Connection is the Goal! 

The Lady Liberty Lift

Like Lady Liberty, this position models strength and support, to lift one another higher, and to represent connection. It also builds emotional intimacy and emotional connection because it requires communication about what feels good and what doesn’t!

How To Do It: Stand or kneel while your partner wraps their legs around your waist. Engaging in this position will test your strength and balance and will also emphasize the trust between you both. As you move and find what feels good, communicate and enjoy the lifted experience! 

The Patriotic Pendulum

The rocking motion of this position helps build up to the pleasure you’re looking for!

How To Do It: One of you will lay on your back with your knees bent. Your partner will straddle you facing either toward or away from you, your choice! Begin rocking back and forth, as rhythmically as possible. Start slowly, then pick up the pace as it feels best to you both. The rocking motion mimics the swinging of a pendulum, a connecting and soothing experience.

The Finale

This one is all about building up to the climax of the show!

How To Do It: One of you will kneel at the edge of the bed and face your partner who is lying on their back with their legs placed on top of your shoulders. The partner kneeling at the edge of the bed will control the depth and intensity eventually building up to an explosive climax! 

CONNECTION CHALLENGE: Try all four and discuss with each other which one was your favorite! Happy Independence Day!

Written by Anna Collins

Marriage365 wants couples to connect in a ‘deeper’ way (pun intended), but connection in marriage isn’t only about sex. It’s about communication, emotional intimacy, forgiveness, boundaries, and much more. Our membership is the most affordable, practical and effective marriage resource to help couples grow in all of these ways.

Learn more about our membership. 

The post Sparklers in the Streets, Fireworks in the Sheets appeared first on Marriage365®.

Source: https://marriage365.com/blog/sparklers-in-the-streets-fireworks-in-the-sheets/

What you can do when your relationship is on the rocks

The post Are Rough Patches in Relationships Normal? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

How men can learn to navigate the stormy seas of emotion

The post Men’s Tears: From Odysseus to Modern Day appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

Dear Captain,

I (she/her, 30s) have been with my husband (he/him, 30s) for ten years now. We both enjoy traveling and we used to do it a lot more. I’m a freelancer who has always maintained a very flexible schedule and my husband’s job used to offer him a great deal of flexibility, too. Since we have no kids (and no plans for any), it was easy to take longer/more spontaneous trips. However, while the pandemic undeniably threw a huge wrench in our getaways, now there’s a different hitch.

My husband changed careers right when things slowly began reopening, and we basically haven’t traveled since. In his current job, he doesn’t have as much PTO as he did previously and it’s much harder to take more than a week off consecutively. I feel churlish complaining about this, because it’s the career path he’s wanted for a long time, that he’s worked hard to achieve, and that he’s very good at and well respected within. But travel used to be such a fun part of our relationship together. A good example of this is the two-week overseas trip we planned that got scuppered by COVID and still hasn’t happened four years later. I keep looking up itinerary ideas for that huge trip, or looking at old travel photos, or investigating new places to go, and then sighing and closing the window.

I know I shouldn’t let this fester. Our relationship is otherwise great, and I’m trying to find modifications like day trips or staycations, but it’s not the same. When I look at those old plans, which are now wildly out of date, I can’t help but have the thought that, by myself, I could have taken a trip like this every year. It’s a poisonous thought, and I recognize that. But I’m grieving part of our relationship that I loved.

He misses traveling, too, but “quit the job you love and find something less fulfilling so that I we can travel more” is a hell of an ask from a spouse.

What can I do to make peace with the life we lead now instead of the life we used to have?

Thanks,

Grounded

Dear Grounded,

It’s time to pull out a calendar and plan two trips. Vacations are like student film shoots, weddings, family reunions, moving house, and asking people on dates in this way: All agreements to participate, no matter how enthusiastic, are conditional until there are specific dates attached. Asking people if they want to do a thing in theory is not the same as telling them when you’re doing the thing and inviting them to join you at a specific time and place. If you start with a time you know works for you, you can negotiate as you go, but the longer you wait to find the magical perfect time when everything and everyone is available, the more you increase the risk that no one and nothing will be available.

The first trip is a joint vacation. If two-week blocks are hard to come by, then what’s a destination that makes sense for a week away within the next year? If your husband can’t go now, and he can’t go soon, then when *precisely* can he go? He’s been there long enough to know when the busy periods are and have a sense of how to budget his leave time, and the further in advance he books his vacations the more time his employer will have to plan. If he lets his job decide when he’s even allowed to ask for time off, he’ll never go, and if you wait for him to wait for them, you’ll never go. Plan it now.

The second trip is a solo journey or one you can take with a good friend or family member. You have a flexible job and a strong desire to travel. You have information that your husband’s schedule and priorities don’t allow him to accompany you like he did before, and you have information that if you wait until he is free, you’ll never go anywhere. What do you want to do with that information? You identify it as “a poisonous thought” that you’re trying to talk yourself out of, but why? Your husband may be your favorite traveling companion, but where is it written that he must be your only one for the rest of time? The subject of your email was:”How much resentment is too much resentment in a marriage?” Meaning, you already resent him. While the ideal amount of resentment in a marriage is probably close to zero, if there’s no way for everyone to get everything they want, why should the status quo mean it’s you who loses out every time? Would he resent you for going without him? If yes, is that better or worse than whatever is happening now?

You can’t go everywhere together like you originally planned, and you can’t expect your husband to give up a fulfilling career to roam the world at your side, so what can you do to get more of what you need? Start with two vacations and see how you feel.