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x-0 m-auto" style="border: 0px solid rgb(217, 217, 227); box-sizing: border-box; --tw-border-spacing-x:0; --tw-border-spacing-y:0; --tw-translate-x:0; --tw-translate-y:0; --tw-rotate:0; --tw-skew-x:0; --tw-skew-y:0; --tw-scale-x:1; --tw-scale-y:1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictnessroximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: auto; display: flex; gap: 1.5rem; padding: 1.5rem 1rem; font-size: 1rem; line-height: 1.5rem; max-width: 42rem;">/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; position: relative; display: flex; width: calc(100% - 50px); flex-direction: column; gap: 0.75rem;">/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; display: flex; flex-grow: 1; flex-direction: column; gap: 0.75rem;">/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; display: flex; min-height: 20px; flex-direction: column; align-items: flex-start; gap: 1rem; white-space: pre-wrap;">/>rose-invert light" style="border: 0px solid rgb(217, 217, 227); box-sizing: border-box; --tw-border-spacing-x:0; --tw-border-spacing-y:0; --tw-translate-x:0; --tw-translate-y:0; --tw-rotate:0; --tw-skew-x:0; --tw-skew-y:0; --tw-scale-x:1; --tw-scale-y:1; --tw-pan-x: ; --tw-pan-y: ; --tw-pinch-zoom: ; --tw-scroll-snap-strictnessroximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; color: var(--tw-prose-body); max-width: none; --tw-prose-body:#374151; --tw-prose-headings:#111827; --tw-prose-lead:#4b5563; --tw-prose-links:#111827; --tw-prose-bold:#111827; --tw-prose-counters:#6b7280; --tw-prose-bullets:#d1d5db; --tw-prose-hr:#e5e7eb; --tw-prose-quotes:#111827; --tw-prose-quote-borders:#e5e7eb; --tw-prose-captions:#6b7280; --tw-prose-code:#111827; --tw-prose-pre-code:#e5e7eb; --tw-prose-pre-bg:#1f2937; --tw-prose-th-borders:#d1d5db; --tw-prose-td-borders:#e5e7eb; --tw-prose-invert-body:#d1d5db; --tw-prose-invert-headings:#fff; --tw-prose-invert-lead:#9ca3af; --tw-prose-invert-links:#fff; --tw-prose-invert-bold:#fff; --tw-prose-invert-counters:#9ca3af; --tw-prose-invert-bullets:#4b5563; --tw-prose-invert-hr:#374151; --tw-prose-invert-quotes:#f3f4f6; --tw-prose-invert-quote-borders:#374151; --tw-prose-invert-captions:#9ca3af; --tw-prose-invert-code:#fff; --tw-prose-invert-pre-code:#d1d5db; --tw-prose-invert-pre-bg:rgba(0,0,0,0.5); --tw-prose-invert-th-borders:#4b5563; --tw-prose-invert-td-borders:#374151; font-size: 1rem; line-height: 1.75; width: 586px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin-top: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 1.25em;">As parents, we want our children to look their best at all times. One of the ways we can ensure this is by dressing them in stylish and comfortable clothing. However, with so many options out there, it can be overwhelming to decide what to buy for your little ones. This guide will help you navigate the world of children's clothing and find the perfect outfits for your kids. Children's Clothing Manufacturers in India/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: 2rem 0px 1rem; line-height: 1.33333; color: var(--tw-prose-headings);">Choosing the Right Size/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin-bottom: 1.25em;">When it comes to buying children's clothing, size is crucial. You don't want clothes that are too big or too small, as they can be uncomfortable and look sloppy. Here are some tips for choosing the right size:/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: 2rem 0px 1rem; line-height: 1.33333; color: var(--tw-prose-headings);">Materials and Fabrics/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin-bottom: 1.25em;">The type of fabric used in children's clothing is essential, as it can affect the comfort and durability of the garment. Here are some common materials used in children's clothing:/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; font-size: 1.25em; margin: 1rem 0px 0.5rem; line-height: 1.6; color: var(--tw-prose-headings);">Cotton/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin-bottom: 1.25em;">Cotton is a natural fabric that is soft, breathable, and easy to care for. It is perfect for everyday wear and is suitable for children with sensitive skin./>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; font-size: 1.25em; margin: 1rem 0px 0.5rem; line-height: 1.6; color: var(--tw-prose-headings);">Polyester/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin-bottom: 1.25em;">Polyester is a synthetic fabric that is durable, wrinkle-resistant, and easy to care for. It is often used in athletic wear and is suitable for children who are active./>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin: 0px 0px 1.25em; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1rem; display: flex; flex-direction: column;">/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0.375em; display: block; position: relative;">Dresses and skirts/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0.375em; display: block; position: relative;">Leggings and tights/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0.375em; display: block; position: relative;">Blouses and tunics/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0.375em; display: block; position: relative;">Cardigans and sweaters/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0.375em; display: block; position: relative;">Accessories like headbands and hair clips/>roximity; --tw-ordinal: ; --tw-slashed-zero: ; --tw-numeric-figure: ; --tw-numeric-spacing: ; --tw-numeric-fraction: ; --tw-ring-inset: ; --tw-ring-offset-width:0px; --tw-ring-offset-color:#fff; --tw-ring-color:rgba(59,130,246,0.5); --tw-ring-offset-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-ring-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow:0 0 transparent; --tw-shadow-colored:0 0 transparent; --tw-blur: ; --tw-brightness: ; --tw-contrast: ; --tw-grayscale: ; --tw-hue-rotate: ; --tw-invert: ; --tw-saturate: ; --tw-sepia: ; --tw-drop-shadow: ; --tw-backdrop-blur: ; --tw-backdrop-brightness: ; --tw-backdrop-contrast: ; --tw-backdrop-grayscale: ; --tw-backdrop-hue-rotate: ; --tw-backdrop-invert: ; --tw-backdrop-opacity: ; --tw-backdrop-saturate: ; --tw-backdrop-sepia: ; margin: 2rem 0px 1rem; line-height: 1.33333; color: var(--tw-prose-headings);">Conclusion/>roximity; 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Content notes for pregnancy trauma and raging misogyny. (Though to be fair, the rage is mine, and is likely to be yours when you’re done reading).
Dear Captain Awkward,
My wife and I have 2 kids both girls. When we were dating we agreed on 3 kids. Our first daughter caused complications at birth. First she was late, then decided to flip when my wife asked for an epidural. And it required an emergency c section because her doctor never showed up and the doctor in the hospital came in late to asses her. After the c section the doctor did not follow procedure and she developed a blood clot. It healed and everything was good. 4 years later she got pregnant with our second daughter, 4 years later I found out she got another blood clot in same leg as the first at around 2 months pregnant. They did a scheduled c section and convinced my wife to have a bilateral salpingectomy. That I wasn’t told about until the day of birth. And I also didn’t agree with.
Here we are 4 years later and I still want more kids and have offered all options to my wife but she refuses any of them. I have asked her about IVF, surrogacy, and other options she has refused all. I am left torn because I do want more children and in the beginning I wanted 4 or 5 but we agreed on 3. And I would like at least one more chance for a boy and have been completely shut out. Lately I find myself thinking about finding another women to have more kids but I take my vows seriously and am completely torn between wanting more kids and my wife. I do know if I don’t have more kids it is going to be on my mind my whole life and I don’t know if I can live with either choice.
Dear Sir:
I don’t know what on earth you expected when you wrote to me, but here is what I’ve got.
A lot of people don’t get to have all the children they wish for in life or become parents at all, and it’s not strange or wrong to grieve for lost possibilities. If that’s the case for you, then take it to a therapist. Talk through it. Feel all the feelings. Negotiate with your messy heart and the indifferent universe on territory that isn’t your wife’s bodily autonomy or your massive sense of entitlement to her reproductive system for a change.
Right now, you are trying to set this question up as a dilemma between your dreams of being a fruitful paterfamilias and your wife’s supposed reneging on agreements within your existing relationship. You are describing your wife like she broke some kind of promise to you, and you are treating her like a faulty incubator, not a human being. Not cool.
However many children your wife “agreed to” when you were dating, you have two, and it sounds like you’re lucky to have those. Agreements change all the time, and it’s not like there aren’t mitigating circumstances. Plus, have you considered the possibility that she’s grieving, too? That some dream or possibility closed off for her, just as much as it did for you, plus she underwent substantial physical trauma and made the best choice she could under the circumstances?
It doesn’t matter whether you agree with the medical decision your wife and her doctor made to remove her Fallopian tubes (that’s what a bilateral salpingectomy is for the curious) after two complicated pregnancies in a row. Nobody asked for your input then, or now, because it isn’t your body. Your hopes do not outweigh other people’s medical conditions or choices about their own bodies, and it’s not even close. I hope that clears things up.
It doesn’t matter what “options” you offered your wife for having more kids after she almost died, twice, having the two you’re lucky enough to have. I’m not sure how IVF would work after the salpingectomy but it’s beside the point anyhow, because it sounds like your wife has all the children she plans to. Does that mean you’ve been “completely shut out” or that she’s done being badgered about something she can’t change?
From what you describe, you are treating your wife like your wish for an imaginary son is worth the possibility of her dying again, worth more than your marriage, and worth more than being the best dad you can be to the daughters you’re lucky enough to have. And you are talking about leaving your family for someone else because you want a different incubator, not a loving relationship with a different human being. (Sounds like a great deal, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to bear the Royal Heir to Misogyny Manor! If you go that route, make sure that the new consort knows that if she fails to produce a son in a timely fashion, you’ll be moving along, so she can factor it into her dowry negotiations.)
Please, sir, get a therapist. If you go to a church that teaches that women are subservient to men, get one who is not affiliated with that church. You’ve got enough to unpack without adding more of the same.
After some therapy, I don’t know what you should do. If you really need to leave your marriage, then you should probably leave. Own the choice (vs. blaming your wife for letting you down somehow, because she didn’t), leave in a way that doesn’t destabilize your family’s lives financially or uproot their living situation, and then live with the consequences. Dive into the dating pool from your swinging bachelor pad, and set your ex-wife free to find someone who thinks she’s people.
If you want to stay married after therapy, try to pass this quiz without looking at your notes:
1. Can you name five things you like about your wife – as a person – that aren’t about a) what a good mom she is b) how pretty/sexy she is c) things she does for you and the kids, like cooking? No “I love how she puts up with me” bullshit. Is she funny? Is she cool? Does she have great taste in books or music? What do her friends love about her? What would make someone meet her and instantly want to be her friend? If you don’t know or can’t think of any, fucking find out. If you do know what you like about your wife, tell her.
2. Can you do the same for your daughters? What are five things you like about each of them as small people, without using the words “pretty” or “well-behaved.” Are they brave, hilarious, smart, cool, kind, skilled at something, creative, good at solving problems? Tell them. Tell them all the time.
3. Can you name five women you admire and respect? They can’t be your mom, your wife, anyone you’re related to, or anyone where what you admire is chiefly their beauty/hotness. Who are women who lead in your chosen career field, in your community, in your areas of interest? Who are your favorite female authors, thinkers, scientists, musicians, inventors, leaders, artists? If you can’t name any, it’s time to get curious and find some.
4. Since having more children is off the table for you and your wife, do you have any idea what your wife wants out of her life during the next 10-50 years? Is she a stay-at-home parent now, or does she work? Does she have further career or educational aspirations for herself once both girls are in school full time? If you don’t know, find out, and ask what you can do to support her. And check back in on all of your dreams that aren’t about fatherhood.
5. When was the last vacation your wife took? Was it a vacation for her, where she got to relax and rest and do things she wanted to do, or was it a vacation where she planned everything and wrangled the children the entire time, just in a a different place? How many hobbies or leisure activities does she get to do, how often does she see her friends and family or go out without the kids while you hold down the fort at home? If you’re trying to woo this lady after your years-long campaign to colonize her womb once more, making sure she has plenty of rest and leisure time is a gift that keeps giving.
6. Quick, name the following things/people:
- Your wife’s birthday
- Your wedding anniversary
- Your daughters’ birthdays
- The best/most recent holiday, anniversary, and birthday gifts you picked out and purchased for your wife and daughters and any cool surprises you planned and executed on these occasions.
- Your daughter’s current teachers, what grade they are in, and what classes they are taking
- Their favorite teacher or teachers and classes (current or all-time)
- The location and current start/end times of all school, day care, and regularly-scheduled activities they go to
- The name of your family pediatrician
- The last time your children went to said pediatrician and what it was for
- Everybody’s favorite food, least favorite food, and any dietary restrictions or allergies
- Your daughter’s favorite books, toys, movies, songs
- What your daughters were for Halloween last year & where their costumes came from
- Their best friends and the names of at least one of the friends’ parents
- Their favorite outfits and colors.
- Their current/most recent answer to “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
- Your daughters’ favorite ways to spend a day with dad doing fun stuff
If you got all of or most of those on the first try, then great! You’re on your way to being an involved family man and not a total loss on the “as a father of daughters” front. If you didn’t get all of those, then a) find out the answers, stay curious as they change, and demonstrate good follow-up skills b) consider that some of your wife’s reluctance to have more children, even with the help of a surrogate, is down to not wanting to take on all the parenting work herself so that you can finally have your trophy kid.
If you’ve got the good-dad-and-husband stuff covered and you’re still hungry to be around more kids and get to nurture and support them as they grow, there are plenty of opportunities to lead a scout troop, coach your daughter’s sports teams, chaperone their school field trips and awkward middle school dances, and be a band-dad or theater-dad or archery-dad or whatever kind of -dad supports the interests of their actual children and the other children in their communities, instead of theoretical sons. I had a tiny tool belt as a child for when I followed my dad around “helping” with home renovations (and eventually helping w/o the quotation marks). There’s no “manly” activity that you can’t teach your daughters if you have sufficient interest in them to invest the time and effort, and if you’re capable of seeing them as fully-formed people and not just as faulty substitutes for the boys you really wanted. (A thing they *will* notice, and when they do, it will cut them to the core).
I am being hard on you, because your letter was sexist and mean and small, and it’s really hard to be on your side when you describe a lady almost dying in childbirth a couple of times and deciding, “whoa, that’s enough near-death experiences” as a dereliction in her duty to you. Is your wife a person, or a failed incubator for your dreams? Are your daughters people or a test batch for the family you really want? If that remains unclear or debatable to you, then what the hell do you think you have to offer a new family? Why would any other woman want you, and why would she put herself through the risks of pregnancy, or entrust you with raising a son in your image or another daughter you’ll treat like a breach of contract?
I answered your letter with something other than “get in the bin and stay there” because maybe, just maybe, you asked me this question because you’re looking for a way forward where you aren’t doomed to star in one of the letters from adult daughters who don’t want their shitty, sexist, absentee dads walking them down the aisle at their wedding or commanding their attendance at holidays and deathbed forgiveness rituals.You described your choice as a binary between staying married (and eternally unfulfilled) or leaving for the possibility of future fulfillment (unless your potential future incubatrixes spitefully have only girls, or can’t have children at all). But you have a real opportunity to undo some of the damage you’ve already done, and a real chance to show up in the family you’re lucky enough to have before it’s too late. My advice is that it’s time to grieve whatever it is you think you’ve lost and do better. Your wife has been through hell, and she deserves your support for her dreams, not your continued pressure about yours.Your daughters deserve a dad who doesn’t treat their mom and other women like vessels. There’s still time to be the person who deserves them, and I hope you will rise to the occasion.
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intensity of the stimulus, the type of tissue damaged, and the individual’s
psychological state.
The candy is half-price the flowers are wilting, and in my inbox some sweet folks are a-jilting. My manuscript’s growing, my brain needs a break, so time for some letters about hope and heartbreak.
This email came this morning with “NO RELATIONSHIP!!!” as the subject line. I’m calling it #1394 for record-keeping purposes.
#1394: NO RELATIONSHIP!!!
I MET A GUY ON A DESTINATION WEDDING AND HE LIVES IN LONDON.SO WHEN I CAME BACK TO MY HOME I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM I FOUND HIS INSTAGRAM AND SENDED HIM A REQUEST. I PROBABLY THINK HE MUST HAVE SEEN IT AND HAS NOT RESPONDED. I KNOW THIS WILL NOT LEAD TO ANYTHING BUT I WANTED TO TRY.I HAVE NOT TOLD ANYONE ABOUT THIS.I TALKED TO HIM TWICE/THRICE AND DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO…
I SENDED HIM A REQUEST AGAIN THINKING HE MIGHT NOT HAVE SEEN HIM. I WAS ATTRACTED TO HIM AT FIRST SIGHT PROBABLY BECAUSE HE IS NOT THE ETHNIC TYPE OF GUYS I MEET EVERYDAY. HE MIGHT BE A LITTLE OLDER BUT I DON’T CARE. YOU WILL MAYBE SUGGEST TO LEAVE IT BUT HE IS IN MY MIND AND I CAN’T STOP MAKING FAKE SCENARIOS IN MY HEAD. HE EVEN DID A LITTLE TEASING AND COMPLIMENTS.HE HASN’T RESPONDED YET …PLZ TELL ME WHAT TO DO OR THINK
RESPOND QUICK OR I WILL EAT UP MY MIND
ANYWAY I ALSO THINK A LOT OF IT IS BECAUSE I AM LONELY BUT I don’t know …
HELLO,
I AM GLAD YOU HAD FUN AT THE WEDDING. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD A NICE FLIRTATION WITH A HANDSOME GUEST AND THAT IS ALWAYS NICE.
PLEASE DO NOT EAT UP YOUR MIND! PLEASE DO NOT SAY THAT THING ABOUT “ETHNIC GUYS” ANYMORE IT MAKES YOU SOUND KINDA RACIST. JUST SAY YOU THOUGH HE WAS HANDSOME, COOL, HOT, NICE, FUN, ETC.
I WILL STOP YELLING NOW IF YOU WILL.
You are right, I am going to suggest that you leave it, no maybes about it. You did nothing wrong by reaching out on social media to someone you met at a party, it was brave and cool of you to shoot your shot, but it is time to assume that he got your friend/follow requests and will respond to them or not in his own sweet time. (I don’t use Insta so I do not know the lingo, forgive me.) I think you should stop sending any more requests, stop looking for other avenues of contact, stop haunting his public feed, and leave him be until or unless he contacts you.
If he does eventually accept your ping, I suggest not reading too much into it, and I suggest not writing terrible yet catchy pop songs in his DMs.* Hitting the “accept” button doesn’t mean he feels the same way or has been thinking about you too, it means “Oh, hello, it was nice meeting you.” He has ways to let you know if he’s into you, you won’t have to nudge him into it.
The way you are feeling, like you have an overwhelming crush and can’t stop thinking about him, might be something called limerence. Limerence is not always always romantic, people get “be my friend!” limerence and fannish limerence about entertainers and strong attachments to coworkers or bosses or teachers.
Limerence doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real or that you shouldn’t have them. What makes it limerence and not just “love” or “attraction” is that the feelings are distracting, sometimes to the point of being painful, and the intensity is out of proportion to the situation or degree of reciprocity from the other person. In other words, even if the limerence is inspired by someone who likes you just fine, they aren’t obsessed with you the same way, and they aren’t behaving with the same kind of intensity and focus. The big mistake people make when they’re in limerence’s grip is thinking that the intensity of their feelings is meaningful in a way that obligates other people. It’s like those old stories about being “struck by Cupid’s arrow,” you assume that this arrow sticking out of your back is visible to everyone, and it must have been put there for a reason.
When it happens to me (and it has happened to me) it’s usually a sign that something else about the person or the situation is lighting me up. I like learning, I like thinking, and I like making art, so when I meet someone in the context of doing those things, and the learning/thinking/art-making clicks into place, like here is stuff I never thought about or understood before, or here is the best I’ve ever been at making art, I want to crawl into those a-ha! moments and never come out. And that person feels like the source of the magical feeling, even if the magic is mostly in me.
So maybe think about the context you met this guy in. You were away from home and all your usual routines, in a new place, probably a beautiful place, surrounded by nifty people who were having a great time. You were all dressed up, you looked amazing, you felt amazing, and you noticed someone who also noticed you, and when you got closer, he wasn’t just nice to look at, he could also keep up with you and make jokes. Is that because this man is your destiny? Who knows? Probably not. Is how good you felt, and are still feeling, maybe a giant flashing sign that you need more of that place, more vacation in general, more of that color you wore that brings out your eyes, more parties, more reasons to dress up, more flirting, more motivation to seek out places and experiences outside of your usual haunts? It would be easy to find out, since you can go after more of those things whether or not this one gentleman ever gets back to you.
[*If you would like two more TikTok songs that make me bark-laugh every time I think of them, they are: 1) Linger, by the Cranberries, except it’s about a little worm and 2) Jack and Diane, but all the lyrics are “sucking on a chili dog.” The Internet can be a dark place, but truly we live in a glorious time when so many beautiful weirdos can delight other weirdos.]
Let’s move on.
#1395: I asked someone out and it didn’t go well. Should I have been more confident?
Dear Captain Awkward,
In this scenario. Keep in mind I have spoken to her when we would go out at night for dinners with a group of friends but we were not that close but we spoke when we could. Though I believe to have caught some feelings for this woman. I approached her as she was still working and I had a small talk at first to see how she was doing then asked if she would be free sometime this week to eat which she then checked her current roster and responded with “I’ll see if my sister is free this day” then I replied with “ok” and walked off.
But that was not the response I was hoping for because I Initially just wanted it to be me and her to which I made it more clearer that I just wanted to be me and her.
This has been on my mind for a few months but I was afraid to ask because I was never sure if she was already seeing someone. As I stared blankly in front of her thinking, she stared at me to which I replied “I’m thinking” then she responded “what are you thinking about?” That’s when I asked if she would be down to go and eat with me and just her. Which she then responded “I’m seeing someone.” I of course respectfully accepted it and didn’t know how to really feel but awkward. But I did feel a bit sad but I thought I’d take the chance which did not turn out the best lol. But I still said I am still down to go eat with you guys (her and the sister) to which she replied “Ok.”
I am sure she is seeing someone, but just your opinion from this would I have needed to be more confident if so how would I approach this better? (I do hope that scenario makes sense I am not the best at story-telling)
Hello, your story made sense to me, or, at least here is how I am reading it:
There is a lady you know from a friend group and see sometimes where she works (or maybe where both of you work, but she definitely works there). You asked her to dinner, and she said yes, but also that she would invite her sister. Either she didn’t register that you were asking her on a date, or she did, and wanted to fend that off as a possibility by including her sister. You were like, cool, but then you thought more about it and were like, not cool actually, so you went back to clarify that you would like to take her on a DATE-date, just the two of you. So she told you no, because she is seeing someone. And your question is, would this have gone differently if you’d been more confident?
I think it would have gone differently if she liked you that way and wanted to go on a date with you. If you’d been more confident somehow, you would have have gotten the same answer, because she doesn’t. If you’d been less confident, and she was really into you, she would have said yes. Her feelings are the deciding factor, not your skills.
I think you did just fine, and I think it turned out just fine. You asked, she answered, you clarified, she answered again, and now you know. Nobody is mad, nothing is broken, she just doesn’t like you that way.
But we’re here, so let’s talk about what “more confident” even means. What would more confident look like for you?
There is a whole industry that wants to teach people, especially men [You supplied no pronouns, but I feel about 99% sure in this assumption, please correct me if I’m wrong], that being confident about dating is the most important and attractive thing you can be, and that confidence in dating comes from the wording, the timing, the strategy, and swagger of the approach, like, “Buy ‘Swain, Swoon, Swive: Gaston’s Guaranteed Gambits For Winning The Heart Of That Weird Girl In Your Town, by Gaston, just $39.99!” Sing with me:
NO ONE FLIRTS LIKE GASTON
NO ONE BLURTS LIKE GASTON
NO ONE’S MUSCLES POP OUT OF HIS SHIRTS LIKE GASTON
HE’S SO SMOOTH THAT IT’S KINDA IN-TIM-I-DATING
HIS EGO’S SO SWOLE IT RESISTS DE-FLATING
But whether it’s innate or store-bought, all the confidence in the world does not cancel out that an entire other human being might be just as confident about saying “Oh, thank you so much, but no.” As a woman who has mostly dated men, when I think of people I met who were especially confident in a sexy way, it mostly boils down to three things:
1. They were forthright and specific. “I would like to take you on a date, will you go to dinner with me next week?” I didn’t have to guess what they wanted. They didn’t pressure me. They asked me a yes or no question.
2. They made it safe to say “no.” And I wish I didn’t mean “safe” quite so literally, but also they didn’t make me feel weird about it, because they could handle rejection. They didn’t treat me differently or expect me take to care of their feelings of rejection after I said it. “No worries! I had to ask. Anyway, watching anything good lately?” They took me at my word, and didn’t keep pushing me to change my mind, so we could run into each other in the future without lingering awkwardness. In other words, they were confident to put the ball in my court, and leave it there.
3. They liked women, not just the ones they wanted to sleep with. No “you’re not like other girls” shit. No treating women who they considered too old or otherwise outside their criteria for what kind of girlfriend they wanted like NPCs. No transactional “nice guy” friendships. If we didn’t date or hook up, I was still a person they liked, not a failed investment in niceness that hadn’t paid sex dividends in a timely manner.
Next time you ask someone out, you could be more specific and clear the first time. You might feel more confident, you might appear more confident, and you’re more likely to get a clear answer right away, so immediately there’s less anxiety and stewing — for everybody–about what it all means.
But the only way you’re getting a different answer is if a) you ask someone else the question b) that someone else wants to go on a date.
The way to display confidence with this particular lady is to accept that she said no and stop asking. Keep being as friendly, chill, polite, and affable as you’ve always been when you run into each other. Assume that if she changes her mind at any point, she will let you know. (People do not forget who asked them on dates, so assume that she neither needs nor want reminders.) More confidence won’t make her go out with you, but a lack of confidence here could make her not want to go anywhere near you. You’ve done great so far, and I’m confident that you’ll be cool and not mess this part up.
P.S. Also, hey, before we go, psssst, what’s the deal with the sister? Is she single? Is she cute? Is your crush calling in an emergency chaperone or is she trying to pull off a successful foist*? I wouldn’t assume anything about it, and sister stuff can get weird, so if you follow through with that dinner, assume that everybody’s just being friendly until someone tells you, out loud, in words, that they’re not. Just, the other thing about my list about Confident-Yet-Unswived-People is that those were the people that I felt confident about inviting to parties and introducing to other people I knew, because I knew that they could hang and wouldn’t do anything creepy. Since you share a friend group, there are worse reputations than “Guy who will ask you on a date and then be totally chill about it afterward.”
*“Feint, Foist, Feast! What To Do When She’s Not The One For You But Her Buddy Might Like Ya” coming soon from Gaston, author of Swain, Swoon, Swive. $39.99 plus shipping and handling, bulk discounts may be available.
Two down, one to go:
#1396: “Well, I *did* have a crush.”
Dear Captain Awkward,
I am a teenager and my crush told everyone in class that I like him. Basically people are avoiding me these days.And it is just the start of my journey in this new school. What can I do to make more friends? Should I just pretend nothing happened?
BUDDY!!!!! MY CAPSLOCK KEY GOT SWITCHED ON AGAIN BUT IT’S OKAY BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO FEEL HOW MUCH I AM HUGGING YOU WITH MY MIND RIGHT NOW! ALSO GASTON IS HERE AND HE SAYS SOMETIMES IT GOES LIKE THAT, IS THERE ANYTHING NEARBY YOU COULD PUNCH, OR WRESTLE, OR QUAFF AN ENTIRE FLAGON OF IN ONE GULP, THAT ALWAYS MAKES GASTON FEEL BETTER.
Buddy. This sucks. I am so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could promise things at this school will never be as embarrassing as they are right now, but I’m not gonna brightside* ya.
I am going to tell you that if your crush was mocking you for the crime of…liking him…he might be kind of a bully. If his mocking was enough to send your classmates scattering away from you in all directions, is it that he’s so popular that everyone is on his side, or is it that they’re relieved it was your turn to get bullied this time, and they’re fleeing the danger zone? As things settle down – and things will settle down, if there’s one thing school does provide, it’s a steady supply of embarrassment theater, you may be the hot newcomer to watch, but the awkward years are all around you. Anyway, as things settle down, watch how your former crush treats other people, and look around for other people who do not like this person, at all. They may not become your friends, but they’re less likely to be enemies.
You could keep pretending nothing happened, but my other advice is for you to own it. Don’t bring it up, but if people keep harping on it, say “Yep, I did have a crush, I’m cured now.””Uh, why is this interesting?””Well, when you have a crush, let me know, I’ll bring popcorn, maybe you can win Most Excruciating Fifth Period next time.”
You didn’t do anything wrong! Adopt the attitude that you liked somebody, he didn’t like you back, so what, what the fuck is wrong with this school that that’s a major news event? “New kid likes boy, realizes he’s kind of a dick, study hall at eleven.” If you’re still in touch with good friends from your old school, this might be a good week to call them.
And now, a final message from our special guest and sponsor, Gaston:
:jaunty music cue, it’s the Gaston song from the original animated Beauty and the Beast:
:music fades down, cheery podcast/radio announcer voice kicks in:
“People everywhere are talking about Brightside, Upside, Backside: Nine Workouts To Kick-start Your Heart And Strut A Butt So Magnificent It Will Steal Her Eyes Right Outta That Book And Steal Her Heart, Back, From Some Fucking Sorcerer-Furry With A Cool Castle And No Friends (Unless Talking Ceramics Count As Friends Which They Don’t, But Gaston Is Your Friend, Always), written by none other than Gaston, with a foreword from Gaston. This full-color collector’s volume also comes with an interactive CD-Rom containing Gaston’s best omelet recipes, how to recycle all those eggshells into an indestructible shelter you can build with your bare hands, step-by-step tutorials for favorite flexes you can do from the comfort and safety of your indestructible protein hive, and now, for the first time ever, Gaston’s complete gallery of mirror-selfies. The basic edition is just $39.99, plus shipping and handling, or you can get the deluxe edition, where the selfie gallery projects as life-sized holograms of Gaston that bellow affirmations and sing the classic song about Gaston, but with your name instead of Gaston.
:an audio sample plays in the background of the Gaston song, but every “Gaston” is replaced by a guy’s voice saying “Josh.” There is a distinct, metallic pause before and after each “Josh” like when you leave a voice mail and there’s an automatic robot voice message like “Please leave a message for….Bethany….after the tone” and the Bethany is in Bethany’s voice:
:music cue:
No one’s slick as… [JOSH]…No one’s quick as… [JOSH]…No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as …[JOSH]….
:announcer voice continues over the music:
“All this can be yours for only $59.99, local sales taxes may apply. If you order in the next three minutes, Gaston promises he will…
:the sound gets muffled, we can hear still the announcer pretty clearly, and there’s another voice in the background, very loud, but too garbled to understand:
…What’s that, Gaston? Speak up. Oh, no, no, okay, wow, your voice is really loud, and this room is so small, that’s incredibly impressive…yeah, I think we could safely use the words “mighty roar”…’k…’got it…these mics you bought are SO sensitive…no, amazing choice, dude, as usual, no one shops like Gaston, no one bops like Gaston, no one wears fetching little crop tops like Gaston…Aw, come on, are you being serious? Of course I noticed. Bro, you look awesome! No, I’m not high-fiving you again, and ixnay on the istf-umps-bay, remember what the lawyer said, you need to stick with verbal appreciation only...anyway, I don’t need thanks for just saying the truth!
:announcer voice becomes clear again:
Ahem, anyway, Gaston says that for anyone who orders the deluxe edition of Brightside, Upside, Backside in next three minutes, he will personally arm-wrestle you or any man, woman, child, beast, spirit, or uncanny being you designate, the only catch is that it has to be on this plane, in this universe, he doesn’t want an avatar of Michelle Yeoh whooping his ass again, those googly eyes take forever to get off once they’re stuck on good.”
:unclear rumbling and grunting in background, announcer voice is muffled but still audible:
“Oh no, was I not supposed to mention that? Sorry, bro, I don’t think you should be embarrassed, she’s one tough lady, I would be proud to have the shit kicked out of me by …no, it’s an expression, I know all your poops were still inside you after the fight, no one hits like Gaston, no one spits like Gaston, no one heats up a warm bowl of grits like Gaston…No, it’s your turn to make lunch, I did it yesterday. All right, I won’t bring up the time Michelle Yeoh wrecked you and left you for dead in a faerie ring of plastic eyes anymore. I won’t. I said I won’t and I won’t. Look, I gotta say the phone number for the people, or they won’t be able to order the…Why don’t you do some leg-presses for a sec while I wrap this up….”
:recording trails off:
