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Valerie L

Dear Captain Awkward,

I find myself in a rather delicate predicament involving my neighbors—the couple who live a few houses down—and I need your guidance. As someone with an insatiable curiosity and a knack for picking up on the smallest details, I’ve noticed some rather intriguing developments in their lives that I feel compelled to address.

The wife, a dynamic and ever-energetic woman, is always the life of the neighborhood. She’s constantly orchestrating events, from extravagant dinner parties to spontaneous weekend getaways. Her enthusiasm is undeniably infectious, but it seems to be having an unexpected impact on her husband. I’ve observed him looking increasingly disheveled and somewhat out of place at these events, particularly in the designer outfits she insists he wear. The poor man seems so uncomfortable, often shifting awkwardly or fidgeting with his collar.

Here’s where it gets a bit more personal: I’ve seen him at the local coffee shop, visibly stressed, and on one occasion, he even mentioned to a mutual acquaintance how he feels overwhelmed by the pressure to conform to her lavish lifestyle. I couldn’t help but overhear this conversation while I was waiting in line, and it broke my heart to see him so distressed. It’s clear he longs for a simpler life, yet he’s caught in a whirlwind of her high expectations.

In addition, I’ve noticed subtle hints of tension at their home, like the way he hesitates before answering her calls or the strained smiles they exchange when they think no one is watching. I feel it’s my duty to step in and offer my perspective. My communication skills are top-notch, and I’ve got a real talent for resolving conflicts and suggesting improvements. It seems only right that I share my thoughts on how they might find a better balance between her vibrant, high-energy world and his more relaxed, introspective nature.

I’ve been considering a friendly visit to share my observations, perhaps over a cup of tea. I could gently suggest that she might consider his comfort more, and offer some advice on how they could adjust their lifestyle to better accommodate his needs. I genuinely believe this would help them strengthen their relationship and bring them closer together. Of course, I’d approach it in the most tactful and considerate way possible—after all, my intention is to be helpful, not intrusive.

Am I crossing a line by contemplating this? I genuinely want what’s best for them and think my unique perspective could offer valuable insight. Should I go ahead with my plan, or is it best to stay out of their personal matters? I’m torn between my desire to help and my awareness of potential boundaries.

Thank you for sending in the Rear Window remake starring Rachel Lynde I didn’t know I needed.

While I am also a passionate observer of the human condition, and frankly fascinated to know what your advice to these people would even be and how you envision the scene where you deliver it unfolding –does your version end with the couple forming a trauma bond about how weird & terrifying it is to realize that their neighbor has been watching them all this time that does ironically bring them closer together than ever?– this is where I tell you to stop. Please, do not ring these people’s doorbell and offer them unsolicited marital advice based on months of careful observation and coffee-shop eavesdropping. Do not do it over tea, do not do it by the sea, do not do it over Zoom, do not do it in a room. Even if you are right about what you observe (big if), even if your intentions are of the purest, most helpful grade, trust that people mostly do not want you to be smart at them or right about them from afar or show up on their doorstep like an avenging management consultant to troubleshoot stuff that’s none of your beeswax.

If this couple wants a marriage counselor, they can hire one, preferably someone who is bound by a set of professional ethics and who doesn’t live on the block. They are also free to reach out to their local clergy, family members, bartenders, hairdressers, individual therapists, a myriad of hotlines, advice subreddits, and online fora, and their actual close friends for support at any time. Consider that they might already be doing any or all of these things without informing you. Please also consider that what you are oh-so-carefully observing might be a minor mismatch in extrovert-introvert tendencies that they’ve just chosen to roll with because they like everything else about being married to each other.

By contrast, if the husband wanted your advice, you would know without a doubt because he would have asked you. You’d be among the buddies he vents to at coffee shops and not the virtual stranger craning their neck from the barista line and furiously jotting another entry in the Notes app. If you knew him well at all (I mean, to talk to, not just to peer at while he fumbles worryingly with his fancy necktie at parties across the way) then you would have gone up to him that day and said something. Anything. “Hello!” “How are you?” “Yes, it’s me, your neighbor!” “I couldn’t help overhearing just now, and feel free to tell me off if it’s none of my business, but is everything okay?” “Are you looking for advice or are you just venting?”

To be absolutely clear, I am not advising you to strike up a friendship as a means to the end of helping these people figure out their marriage. You are already way too invested in people who are not reciprocally invested in you for that to ever be a good idea. My advice is to stop watching them, stop eavesdropping on them, stop speculating about their marriage, and do literally nothing to insert yourself further into their lives. Say a pleasant hello when you run into them in the neighborhood, and then disengage. If you’re hungry for connection and the opportunity to be useful, maybe find someplace to volunteer in your community and channel your helpful impulses into help that people asked for. Then perhaps this story can remain a comedy and not the opening act of a thriller.

Becky Earley

This is how we heal the “mean girls” culture: we hold, we include, we love, we empower, and we regard our girls.

The post I’m Raising Girls Who Are “Includers” Instead of “Mean Girls” appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

Becky Earley Aug 22 '24 · Tags: fusevy, relationships
Becky Earley

Is it back-to-school time already?

As summer fades, families are gearing up for a new school year filled with new teachers, activities, schedules, and a host of changes. With all these transitions, it’s easy for “mom and dad” to lose sight of each other amid the whirlwind. We’ve been there and know how hectic it can be.

Your kids will soon receive a back-to-school supplies list, along with tasks to prepare for the first day. Amid this wild season, it’s crucial to support your marriage too. Here’s a “Back-to-School Marriage Checklist” to help you navigate this busy time together:

1. Schedule Date Nights

The start of a new school year can quickly dominate the family schedule. Prioritize your relationship by planning date nights for the next three months. Make sure these nights are about fun and connection, not discussing the kids or household logistics.

2. New School Year, New Plan

Whether it’s drop-offs, pick-ups, back-to-school shopping, or managing extracurricular activities, create a fresh plan for who handles what this year. Have a “new roles” conversation and ensure both partners are on the same page. Write down your agreed responsibilities to stay accountable and finish the discussion with a “60-second blessing” to appreciate and encourage each other.

3. Hold Family Meetings

Support your marriage by holding a family meeting to discuss the new school year’s plan together. This prevents miscommunication and helps everyone understand their roles and responsibilities. For example, “Remember in our family meeting, we agreed Dad would pick you up from activities on Tuesdays, and Mom would drive you to school on Thursdays?” This clarity reduces stress and constant questioning.

4. Connecting Questions for Couples

Deepen your connection with these back-to-school-themed questions:

  • What’s challenging for you as we start a new school year?
  • What brings you joy as our kids start a new school year?
  • Which activity is hardest for you to support our kids in?
  • Which activity do you most enjoy supporting our kids in?
  • How do you like to connect with me after a long day?
  • What’s a need you have that I can help fulfill?
  • What did we do well as a team last school year?
  • What didn’t we do well as a team last school year?
  • What are our screen time boundaries this school year?
  • What pushback can we expect from our kids about these boundaries?
  • How should we respond to pushback?
  • What’s one thing you need me to know right now?

5. Connecting Questions for Families

Prioritize connection like any other important aspect of life. Our books offer daily questions to help you connect consistently. Establish a routine to ask the question of the day, enhancing trust, life satisfaction, and happiness.

Remember, You’re Not Alone

The back-to-school season can be a challenging adjustment for everyone. Remember, you’re part of a community going through the same transitions. We’re all gearing up for the circus together, supporting each other along the way.

The post Stay Connected During Back-to-School: A Marriage Checklist appeared first on Marriage365®.


Source: https://marriage365.com/blog/stay-connected-during-back-to-school-a-marriage-checklist/

Becky Earley Aug 20 '24
AJAY KUMAR A

Explore top-notch family dentistry in Mogappair West at Denticare Dental & Implant Clinic. This guide highlights why Denticare is a leading choice for families seeking exceptional dental care in the area.

Comprehensive Family Dental Services

Denticare Dental & Implant Clinic provides a full spectrum of dental services tailored to meet the needs of every family member:

  • Preventive Dentistry: Routine check-ups, professional cleanings, fluoride treatments, and dental sealants to protect against cavities.
  • Restorative Dentistry: High-quality fillings, crowns, bridges, and dental implants to restore and enhance dental function and appearance.
  • Cosmetic Dentistry: Advanced teeth whitening, veneers, and cosmetic bonding to help you achieve a beautiful smile.
  • Orthodontics: Braces and Invisalign aligners for effective teeth straightening and bite correction.
  • Pediatric Dentistry: Specialized care for children, ensuring a comfortable and positive dental experience.
  • Oral Surgery: Expert tooth extractions, wisdom teeth removal, and other surgical procedures with advanced techniques.

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AJAY KUMAR A Aug 19 '24 · Tags: dental clinic, dentist
AJAY KUMAR A

Explore top-notch family dentistry in Mogappair West at Denticare Dental & Implant Clinic. This guide highlights why Denticare is a leading choice for families seeking exceptional dental care in the area.

Comprehensive Family Dental Services

Denticare Dental & Implant Clinic provides a full spectrum of dental services tailored to meet the needs of every family member:

  • Preventive Dentistry: Routine check-ups, professional cleanings, fluoride treatments, and dental sealants to protect against cavities.
  • Restorative Dentistry: High-quality fillings, crowns, bridges, and dental implants to restore and enhance dental function and appearance.
  • Cosmetic Dentistry: Advanced teeth whitening, veneers, and cosmetic bonding to help you achieve a beautiful smile.
  • Orthodontics: Braces and Invisalign aligners for effective teeth straightening and bite correction.
  • Pediatric Dentistry: Specialized care for children, ensuring a comfortable and positive dental experience.
  • Oral Surgery: Expert tooth extractions, wisdom teeth removal, and other surgical procedures with advanced techniques.
State-of-the-Art Technology

Denticare is equipped with the latest dental technology, enhancing the precision and effectiveness of treatments:

  • Digital X-rays: Providing clear, high-resolution images with minimal radiation.
  • Intraoral Cameras: Offering detailed views of your teeth for better diagnosis and treatment planning.
  • Advanced Sterilization Techniques: Ensuring the highest standards of hygiene and safety for all patients.
Experienced and Caring Dental Team

At Denticare Dental & Implant Clinic, a team of experienced dentists, hygienists, and support staff is dedicated to delivering compassionate care. They are committed to making every visit comfortable and stress-free for all patients.

Personalized Care for Every Patient

Denticare prioritizes personalized care, crafting individualized treatment plans to meet the unique needs of each patient. This patient-centered approach ensures the best possible outcomes for all family members.

Convenient Location with Flexible Hours

Denticare Dental & Implant Clinic is conveniently located in Mogappair West, making it easy for families to access top dental care. The clinic offers flexible appointment hours, including evenings and weekends, to accommodate busy schedules.

Commitment to Community and Education

Denticare is actively involved in the community, promoting oral health through educational workshops and outreach programs. They strive to empower patients with knowledge to maintain excellent oral health.

Patient Testimonials and Satisfaction

Denticare Dental & Implant Clinic has received numerous positive reviews, praising its professionalism, friendly atmosphere, and high-quality care. These testimonials highlight Denticare’s reputation for excellence in family dentistry.

Conclusion

For exceptional family dentistry in Mogappair West, Denticare Dental & Implant Clinic is the trusted choice. With a wide range of services, advanced technology, a dedicated team, personalized care, convenient location, and community involvement, Denticare ensures that every family receives the best possible dental care. Trust Denticare for your family’s dental needs and experience the highest standards of care and service.


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AJAY KUMAR A Aug 19 '24 · Tags: dental clinic
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