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Valerie L

Edit: cancelled sorry, too few RSVPs. Let me know if you’re interested in coming in future, and any changes which would help

Hello everyone!

I haven’t run this meetup for a while, as a combination of my own health issues going on, plus what looked like reduced interest, but here we go again. Please can you definitely RSVP if you are coming, and I will cancel if there’s not enough people.

Obviously I will cancel if the situation changes or the rules change

5th November, 1pm, Royal Festival Hall, Southbank Centre, SE1 8XX.

We will be on Level 2 (the upper levels are closed to non-ticket-holders), but I don’t know exactly where on the floor. It will depend on where we can find a table. I will have my plush Chthulu which looks like this:

Please bring your masks/exemption lanyards, and obey any rules posted in the venue.

The venue has lifts to all floors and accessible toilets. The accessibility map is here:

The food market outside (side opposite the river) is pretty good for all sorts of requirements, and you can also bring food from home, or there are lots of cafes on the riverfront.

Other things to bear in mind:

  1. Please make sure you follow social distancing rules. This particularly includes respecting people’s personal space and their choices about distancing.
  2. We have all had a terrible time for the last two years. Sharing your struggles is okay and is part of what the group is for, but we need to be careful not to overwhelm each other or have the conversation be entirely negative. Where I usually draw the line here is that personal struggles are fine to talk about but political rants are discouraged, but I may have to move this line on the day when I see how things go. Don’t worry, I will tell you!
  3. Probably lots of us have forgotten how to be around people (most likely me as well), so here is permission to walk away if you need space. Also a reminder that we will all react differently, so be careful to give others space if they need.

I will cancel this meetup if government guidance changes, so keep an eye on this space.

Everyone who’s coming please make sure you take a lateral flow test (or PCR) the previous evening or that morning

Please RSVP so that I know there’s enough people not to need to cancel, and so I know to look out for you!

kate DOT towner AT gmail DOT com

Valerie L

Hello everyone!

I haven’t run this meetup for a while, as a combination of my own health issues going on, plus what looked like reduced interest, but here we go again. Please can you definitely RSVP if you are coming, and I will cancel if there’s not enough people.

Obviously I will cancel if the situation changes or the rules change

5th November, 1pm, Royal Festival Hall, Southbank Centre, SE1 8XX.

We will be on Level 2 (the upper levels are closed to non-ticket-holders), but I don’t know exactly where on the floor. It will depend on where we can find a table. I will have my plush Chthulu which looks like this:

Please bring your masks/exemption lanyards, and obey any rules posted in the venue.

The venue has lifts to all floors and accessible toilets. The accessibility map is here:

The food market outside (side opposite the river) is pretty good for all sorts of requirements, and you can also bring food from home, or there are lots of cafes on the riverfront.

Other things to bear in mind:

  1. Please make sure you follow social distancing rules. This particularly includes respecting people’s personal space and their choices about distancing.
  2. We have all had a terrible time for the last two years. Sharing your struggles is okay and is part of what the group is for, but we need to be careful not to overwhelm each other or have the conversation be entirely negative. Where I usually draw the line here is that personal struggles are fine to talk about but political rants are discouraged, but I may have to move this line on the day when I see how things go. Don’t worry, I will tell you!
  3. Probably lots of us have forgotten how to be around people (most likely me as well), so here is permission to walk away if you need space. Also a reminder that we will all react differently, so be careful to give others space if they need.

I will cancel this meetup if government guidance changes, so keep an eye on this space.

Everyone who’s coming please make sure you take a lateral flow test (or PCR) the previous evening or that morning

Please RSVP so that I know there’s enough people not to need to cancel, and so I know to look out for you!

kate DOT towner AT gmail DOT com

Becky Earley

Did you know that the first skills you learn about marriage and friendship come from your parents’ marriage relationship? Did you know that the attachment, comfort, or discomfort you experience in your marriage stems directly back to what your parents taught you about love? Did you know that because all marriages are founded on friendship first, basic relationship attachment skills might feel like a struggle with your spouse even when romance doesn’t?

Here’s why…

Everything we see as children shapes our perception about something in the world and when it comes to marriage, the primary lesson your parents taught you is whether or not it’s safe to be vulnerable with another person. We watch our parents closely as we grow up and, knowingly or not, they shape what we believe about love. Their day-to-day interactions answer questions inside us like…

“If I share my dreams, goals, and passions with you, will I be accepted or rejected?”

“If I tell you that something you did hurt me, will I be validated or shamed?”

“Does the way I see the world mean anything to my spouse or should I keep it to myself?”

It is through watching their auto-pilot day-to-day interactions and habits with each other that you learn what is safe and what is not safe, and what is expected and what is not expected in relationships. In other words, any parent can put on an intentional act for their kids, but kids see everything, and what matters most is what they see when their parents think they aren’t watching. Thankfully, healthy marriages model love and respect whether the kids are watching or not. Unfortunately, not all marriages are healthy, and the damage to the kids watching can be catastrophic to their relationships later on.

For example, say you consistently watched parent A walk up to parent B and start telling him/her about their day and parent B’s response routinely given was to be stone cold, make no eye contact, and grumble something in an annoyed tone under their breath before walking away to the next task. Then, once parent B left the room, you also saw the look of sadness in parent A’s eyes as they were left standing alone. Additionally, let’s also say you routinely saw parents A&B share a quick daily kiss and say “I love you” before one of them left the house. How do you figure a daily experience like that might have shaped you and what you believe about relationships? Is it possible seeing this daily might have taught you that people don’t actually care as much as they say they do? Or that saying “I love you” is just for show and doesn’t really mean you can count on that person to listen to you and engage with you? Maybe it taught you that marriage is a facade and the real stuff is fake. You CAN unlearn this.

We all become relationally paralyzed by fear when we witness someone we love being treated in a way that hurts them. What if it happens to us, too? How damaging! Better question? What if it doesn’t and you can forge a new path? Let this be a starting point for getting curious and asking questions. It’s all about self-awareness and using that awareness to create positive change! We’re here to help 🙂

If there is a certain area in your attachment process (the way you connect to another person) that you’re struggling with, take some time today to think about what your parents taught you about marriage and friendship by reading through these questions on your own or with your spouse.

Connecting Questions

  • What did my parents’ daily interactions teach me about friendship?
  • What did my parents’ daily interactions teach me about romantic love and relationships?
  • What lessons do I want to unlearn from my parent’s marriage?
  • What lessons do I want to keep from my parent’s marriage?
  • How does my parents’ marriage impact my own marriage the most? Is it healthy? Unhealthy?
  • What is one personal belief that I learned from my parents’ marriage that is hurting me/my marriage and needs to be addressed immediately?
  • What is my marriage modeling to my kids? What are we unconsciously teaching them in our day-to-day interactions?
  • What did my in-laws’ marriage teach my spouse about marriage?
  • Is my marriage teaching the positive or the negative things we learned from our parents to our kids? Am I comfortable with what they are learning from us?

And, remember, just like your parents taught you all about marriage and friendship… your marriage is teaching your kids too.

The post What Your Parents Taught You About Marriage appeared first on Marriage365®.


Source: https://marriage365.com/blog/what-your-parents-taught-you-about-marriage/

Becky Earley Oct 24 '22
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       There was once a blind man who had so fine a sense of touch that, when any animal was put into his hands, he could tell what it was merely by the feel of it. One day the cub of a wolf was put into his hands, and he was asked what it was. He felt i

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